Manny Tested Positive

Discussion in 'Baseball Forum' started by nyjetsrule, May 7, 2009.

  1. AlioTheFool

    AlioTheFool Spiveymaniac

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    I hate to bust everyone's bubble, but I'm pretty sure Murrell was being a smartass with that comment. From the context of what he responded to, I read it more like "If you think your boy Piazza is clean, simply because there's no current physical evidence, then we may as well say Manny on the Sox is innocent as well."
     
  2. VickBlows

    VickBlows Active Member

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    C'mon guys - thats just Manny bein' A-Rod
     
  3. typeOnegative13NY

    typeOnegative13NY Well-Known Member

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    Even THAT couldn't get them a ring. We can put one up for 86 for cocaine though.
     
  4. Jetsetter

    Jetsetter Active Member

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    Back in '06, the Red Sox seemed strangely attracted to Manny's use of female fertility drugs...

    [​IMG]
     
  5. cassie96

    cassie96 Member

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    :rofl2: I just googled it fast, in order to find a link for him, so that the other posters would not be saying, "where is the link, where is the link!!!" :smile:
     
  6. Yisman

    Yisman Newbie
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    http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/index

    Manny Ramirez shattered our collective innocence. Cast professional baseball into a deeper, darker pit of what-will-we-tell-the-children? despair.

    Enough, already.

    Ramirez is telling the truth. He didn't use the female fertility drug human chorionic gonadotropin to restart his body's natural testosterone production after coming off a steroid cycle; he used it for its intended purpose.

    Namely, to get pregnant.

    Surprise, America: Ramirez is obviously expecting. Congratulations are in order. In fact, the question at hand isn't Did he juice? It's Boy or girl?

    Unconvinced? Consider the evidence:

    Pregnancy symptom: Erratic moods, emotional swings.
    Ramirez's behavior: On-and-off trade demands with Red Sox; on-and-off number demands with Los Angeles Dodgers; "Manny being Manny."

    Pregnancy symptom: Forgetfulness, foggy thinking.
    Ramirez's behavior: Had no idea who O.J. Simpson was during famed Bronco chase; failure to run out ground balls; named both of his first two sons Manny Jr.

    Pregnancy symptom: Aches and pains in groin, back, legs and rib cage.
    Ramirez's behavior: Missed 42 games in 2002 with a leg injury, 28 games in 2006 with sore knee, most of September in 2007 with strained oblique.

    Pregnancy symptom: Increased aggression, irrational irritability.
    Ramirez's behavior: Pointless dugout slap fight with teammate Kevin Youkilis; otherwise inexplicable physical confrontation with Red Sox traveling secretary.

    Pregnancy symptom: Fluid retention, swelling in limbs and weight gain all require bigger, looser clothing.
    Ramirez's behavior: Body bloat, belly bump hidden by baggy, oversized uniform.

    Pregnancy symptom: Increased appetite; food cravings.
    Ramirez's behavior: Owns a rather AMAZING barbecue grill.

    Pregnancy symptom: Uterus presses down on bladder, creating frequent, inconvenient urge to urinate.
    Ramirez's behavior: Impromptu pit stops inside Green Monster wall; leaves Dodgers game in bottom of the ninth to relieve self.

    Pregnancy symptom: Insomnia.
    Ramirez's behavior: Unable to sleep despite pharyngitis, visits hotel bar with Enrique Wilson.
     
  7. cassie96

    cassie96 Member

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    :rofl: Great stuff!!! :up:
     

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