Alright, I give. Tebow is already a giant pain in the ass. I think I hate him.

Discussion in 'Tebowmania' started by PolygamyWinsChampionships, Apr 3, 2012.

  1. catfish

    catfish New Member

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    I would point out that last year Denvers offense, more than any I can recall in the last decade resembled one of those offenses of yesteryear. They didn't throw much and when they did they threw deep

    edit: not that that in any way invalidates your statement which is very true
     
  2. Slap

    Slap New Member

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    Cheap shots aside, I liked Marino a lot. His 5000 yard season was one of the most incredible football accomplishments I ever had the pleasure of witnessing. Putting that L on the Bears record in '85 was pretty awesome, too.
     
  3. PolygamyWinsChampionships

    PolygamyWinsChampionships Well-Known Member

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    Here's an expression for you:

    The lady doth protest too much.

    It means you're guilty. Of being wrong. Yet again.

    (This is the part where you scroll down at people laughing at you and make that tense and embarrassed fake smile that Gertrude makes when she hears that line. I'm thinking of the Gertrude that is mother to Mel Gibson. Of course. Only the best for Big Blocker's seed.)

    Occam's razor (also written as Ockham's razor) is the English equivalent of the Latin lex parsimoniae --- the law of parsimony, economy or succinctness. It is a principle urging one to select among competing hypotheses that which makes the fewest assumptions and thereby offers the simplest explanation of the effect.

    You see, when you skipped ahead in the textbook apparently you didn’t realize that the word “assumption” is not synonymous with “simplest.”

    You’re right though. It could have happened to anyone. I mean jeesh, “simplest” and “assumption”? Those words look like twins. Possibly even identical twins. Anybody totally could have made that mistake. It just happened to be you. Chyeah.

    I know, it’s all still so very confusing. Let me spell it out nice and slow. Your assumption is that Woody Johnson brought Tebow in because he wanted:
    (1)….To distract from the Giants, again, winning the SB.
    (2) To also get some more interest in unsold psl’s from Tebot’s
    (3) To sell merchandise.
    (4) To most of all remain “relevant” in the NYC market
    (5) Also because Woody quite obviously is an attention whore who knows less about football than my dog.

    Yep. Totally, bro. That definitely, definitely, definitely looks like the “simplest explanation.” A harmonious marriage of FIVE (5), (Cinco), separate and often unrelated reasons working together to systematically fuck the Jets season up the ass.

    Yep. Each one of your five, (Cinq), (Fem), reasons surely rely on the least number of assumptions, relative to any other explanation, collectively. I’m sure that’s true. It sounds so true. Almost as true as “assumption” and “simplest” being synonyms sounds. Your truthiness is staggering. I’m blinded. I'm BigBlocker'd (verb, not noun).

    I like abuse though. Let me come up with some erroneous assumptions that your “reasons” might make. Surely an exercise in futility but here goes.


    (2) To also get some more interest in unsold psl’s from Tebot’s
    &
    (3) To sell merchandise.

    Hmmmm. It almost sounds to me that these reasons are aimed at making more money. What could be simpler than that? What could make fewer assumptions? Wow. I don’t know. How about, anything you can possibly think of?

    Huh? Wait? What? Here, let me explain. You’re assuming that making a shitty, popular and hyped, acquisition will generate more profit over even the short run, (less than 5 years) than making acquisitions based purely on football merits. That’s one assumption. It’s also one assumption that only someone with C.P. would make. We won’t spell that one out though, wouldn’t want to make anyone sad.

    Oh wait, shoot, that was actually making two assumptions. It was also assuming that Tebow is a shitty acquisition. Because, like, who gives a fuck if Woody makes more money if it was a good football decision? Because then you’d be assuming that Woody made an excellent acquisition in Tebow for the bad reason of selling PSL’s rather than the good reason of it being the right move for football reasons. Which you can’t assume, because you’re not Woody.

    Are you still awake?

    You’re not Woody, so you don’t know what he’s thinking?

    *Echo, echo, echo* anyone here?

    (5) Also because Woody quite obviously is an attention whore who knows less about football than my dog.

    This one is my personal favorite. Really shows just how sharp the tools needed for a picnic that we're dealing with are. Hmmmm. Really hard to find any assumptions in this one. Right?

    Nope, can’t find any.

    Just kidding.

    How about:

    Assumption (1)- Your dog knows more about football than any living human being.

    U (That's notation that means essentially "and"...sure you knew that Mr. Occam.)

    Assumption (2)- Woody Johnson owns a football franchise and knows less than a dog who is capable of knowing more about football than a person.

    U

    Assumption (3)- Woody Johnson allows himself to be governed by some psychological deficiency, crippling him to run his multi-billion dollar business in any coherent manner. This must be so. Someone of even Big Blocker's immense intellectual prowess could do better, (as an outside observer of course.)

    Yes. Assumption 3 seems entirely valid. I mean, Woody was a J&J baby anyway. He must be real stupid. Had everything handed to him. Incapable of logic. All of these things seem totally, totally, totally true. For real.

    Know what? I take it back. I said that you didn’t understand what the word “assumption” meant before. You obviously don’t know what “simplest” means either.

    Want to know what I think actually happened? My best guess is that you got some Chinese delivery over the weekend. General Tso’s Chicken. Quite yummy. Had the Wonton Soup. Belly full, Big Blocker happy. Oh look, there’s a fortune cookie.

    Crack it open. Pull out the note.

    “Confucius say, simplest explanation correct one.”

    “Holy shit! I’ve got to get on The Gang Green! Wheres muh laptop?!?!?!?!?!”

    If you need, I can type up any of about 10,000,000 other assumptions that your short paragraph makes. But like a cat, bored with a string, I'd like to move on for now.
     
    #263 PolygamyWinsChampionships, Apr 11, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2012
  4. Rawrk

    Rawrk New Member

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    i haven't read any post in this thread other than this last one.

    BUT GOTDAMN. GET EMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
     
  5. PolygamyWinsChampionships

    PolygamyWinsChampionships Well-Known Member

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    Acquiring Tim Tebow appeared to be the correct football move.

    Jesus T. (for Tebow) Christ. That is so much more complicated than your explanation.

    I concede.
     
  6. PolygamyWinsChampionships

    PolygamyWinsChampionships Well-Known Member

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    By the way, I'm pretty sure that Occam uses his razor mainly for lobotomies.

    That's a whole other hypothesis though.
     
  7. Demosthenes9

    Demosthenes9 Well-Known Member

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    Yep, he certainly did. Might be why some of us are willing to wait and see how Tebow does in his second season as a QB (in whatever fashion, be it the Wildcat, or filling in for Sanchez.)

    That's the thing that I just don't get about most of you Tebow critics. In Tebow's first year in the NFL under McDaniels, he didn't get any snaps to speak of in OTAs, TC, or weekly practices. In the limited TC this past year, his snaps were with the 2nd and 3rd teams. That's who he was in with in preseason and he would have been playing against 2nd and 3rd string defenses on the other side of the ball (most likely).

    He then came in pretty "cold" as the starter, and then learned the "new" offensive plays that were put in.

    Seriously, if you look at it objectively, he had little to no experience and had a lot of things put in front of him to digest. Even with all that, he still posted an 8-5 record for the season. Oh yeah, also throw in that he's still working on his footwork and his "new" release.

    I don't know, call me an optimist, but I look at all that, see what he accomplished and just wonder about how good he really good be with more experience and proper development by good coaches.
     
  8. Demosthenes9

    Demosthenes9 Well-Known Member

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    But what you can do is compare Elway's stats to other QBs from that season, see that he was at the bottom of the league in most stats and conclude that he really wasn't a good NFL QB his first season.
     
  9. PolygamyWinsChampionships

    PolygamyWinsChampionships Well-Known Member

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    I'd also just like to point out the immense, incredible respect I have for the intelligence of anyone who knows more about the Jets franchise as an outside observer than Mr. Woody Johnson.

    Remarkable respect. Being conveyed.

    I mean, Woody probably knows more about the Jets than anyone besides a very few people that are currently living on this Earth. Most of them are employed by the Jets. Quite hard to imagine any of them would be giving out their views for free on an internet message board.

    Mad props. Like, Albert Einstein intelligence and respect. Beeg eet up.

    [​IMG]

    I also think lobotomies are a perfectly normal medical procedure, that shouldn't be judged any differently from something like a tonsil removal. Chuuuhhhh Yepppp.
     
  10. PolygamyWinsChampionships

    PolygamyWinsChampionships Well-Known Member

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    http://www.nypost.com/p/sports/jets...V1NHJG0NSGLiK?utm_medium=rss&utm_content=Jets

    Tebow not $$$ grab, Woody says

    By PAUL SCHWARTZ
    Last Updated: 2:56 AM, April 11, 2012
    Posted: 2:14 AM, April 11, 2012

    We didn’t do it for the money.
    That’s the contention of Jets owner Woody Johnson, who has heard the criticism and claims his team traded for Tim Tebow largely because of the marketing potential and jersey sales he is sure to generate.
    “Jerseys aren’t really our main line of business,” Johnson said Wednesday on Fox Business Network’s “After The Bell.’’
    Johnson said the Jets are not mainly interested in Tebow for the money he can make for them.
    “Our main line of business is winning games,’’ he said. “I expect if we do well, we will continue to sell. We’re pretty well sold out on [personal seat licenses] despite what you read about.
    If the huge gamble of bringing Tebow onto a team that already has Mark Sanchez as the starting quarterback pays off, Johnson wants it known he should be the one praised for the controversial decision.
    Sure Johnson appeared to be kidding when he responded to a question about how much input he had in the decision to trade with the Broncos for Tebow. Of course, general manager Mike Tannenbaum and head coach Rex Ryan signed off on the deal and seemed to have strongly endorsed it. So it stands to reason their necks are on the line if things go haywire.
    There will be plenty of blame to go around if Tebow cannot be incorporated into the offense or if Sanchez can’t handle the pressure of having Tebow breathing down his neck.

    More lies from the Gollum himself. Only Big Blocker can hold precious.

    [​IMG]
     
  11. Catt_County

    Catt_County Banned

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    I noticed that your esteemed leader didn't mention the really, really important thing that trading for Tebow did: put the Jests -- er, I mean Jets -- in the headlines of most sports shows/stories/conversations for the last 2-3 weeks. To paraphrase the Master Card commercial, "Pushing the Gnats off the sports radar completely ... priceless!" :eek:hmy:
     
  12. Bannon

    Bannon New Member

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    Can't blame 'em -- there's two NFL teams in the state of New York, and therefore they're bound to be rivals for attention.
     
  13. soh_vet

    soh_vet Well-Known Member

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    Replace "state" with "city" or "two" with "one" (Buffalo), then you'll have it right.:buffaloblows:
     
  14. GB#15

    GB#15 New Member

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    I guess I would not like him after the JETS/BRONCOS game when he pummeled you guys in prime time! :) This is a case of "You can beat them and then join them"
     
  15. displacedfan

    displacedfan Well-Known Member

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    You have a strange definition of the word pummeled. The Eagles pummeled us.

    There is no such case of you can beat and then join them. Then Eli would be a Patriot, Rodgers would be Viking, Bear, or Lion, Smith would be a Saint, Sanchez a Bill, etc etc should I go on?

    EDIT: oh and in this case it would be more like beat them, get replaced by a HOF QB, get traded to a team your team happened to beat last year.
     
    #275 displacedfan, Apr 11, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2012
  16. GB#15

    GB#15 New Member

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    Can you say TOMMY JOHN ?
     
  17. Catt_County

    Catt_County Banned

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    Neither of you are correct.

    There is only 1 football team in NYS, the Buffalo Bills.

    New York City doesn't have any football teams as both the Gnats and Jests play across the river in New Jersey, which for the geography-impaired, is a different state. It is, however, part of the New York metropolitan area which includes NYC and its associated suburbs in both NY and NJ.
     
  18. BrowningNagle

    BrowningNagle Well-Known Member

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    But the Bills don't play in Buffalo --

    they play in Orchard Park or Toronto. Toronto, which for the geography-impaired, is in a different country and around 200 miles away from Cattaraugus County, NY.
     
    #278 BrowningNagle, Apr 11, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2012
  19. Bannon

    Bannon New Member

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    And I was just messin' with him. Intentionally leaving out Buffalo.
     
  20. NotSatoshiNakamoto

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    Right but the Bills aren't relevant outside of the CFL so they don't matter to most.
     

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