Shopping with your woman isn't all that bad, you just have to do things that can make it more interesting. Things such as eating, smacking and grabbing your girl's ass at random times, eating, finding a bar, playing video games on your phone while she tries on clothes.
Like powdered wasabi! I'm a believer! Day 2: This shit will wake you up in the mornin', Laddy! It's like a shot of 12 year old scotch, on your X year old crotch! A distinctive aroma that clears the sinuses, slap some on your dingle, and feel the tingle! Followed by a pleasent after burn that just fairly flirts with discomfort, but doesn't quite cross the line. /real talk
Anyone know where I can find a travel sized version of gold bond? Going to Florida for a couple weeks an I need to be prepared.
Last thing you want is to have to peel your sac off your inner thigh like it's a fruit-roll up coming off of the plastic wrap. Powder up generously...
Look, I'm under the impression that there are only two types of people in this world -- those who powder up, and those who don't. The ones who do lead much more fulfilling lives, free of crotch itch and odor. Usually this scores them a big promotion at their high paying and prestigious jobs -- so they can afford a second Summer home, or boob jobs for their loving wives and daughters. Their strong and handsome sons usually go on to become champion athletes. Great men, free of jock itch and persecution, using their vast renown and fortune to build memorials heralding the greatness of their proud powdered fathers. The ones who don't? Well, their lives are awash with heartache, dreariness, and fungus. They scratch and toil in the sulfur mines 20 hours a day, just to eek out enough hey pennies for a cup of thin gruel to feed their ugly lecherous boyfriends in their ramshackle shanties. They spend what little free time they have in a fevered and diseased sleep, dreaming of the sweet embrace of their unmarked tombs. When death finally takes them, it is horridly slow and painful with no real loved ones present to comfort, and ease them into the ever patient nothingness. Their scaly and dry bodies are then unceremoniously tossed into a potter's field ditch atop a heap of other unpowdered and wretched corpses. The mass burial is only witnessed by their wicked life-partners eager to dance on their graves.
I didn't realize the green bottle would be just as important in the desert as in the tropical humid woodlands of south mississippi.
I solved this problem years ago by switching to Calvin Klein boxer briefs. If you get the ones with the red waistband in black or gray, your boys will never touch your thighs. It's very specific though... Those are the only kind that never seem to stretch out. I'll still powder up the back 40 when it gets humid out here though.
Just because it's cold doesn't mean you shouldn't powder up. I learned that today. Was shopping with my girl and I ended up having to do "the move" to get my balls unstuck. Lesson for you all.
